Reconnecting

A few months ago I was given the opportunity to reconnect with my father. In English class was the first time I thought of reconnecting with my dad when we were asked to think of a Bucket List. I began to think about my father. I hadn’t seen him in a decade and I began to wonder if I ever crossed his mind. As I sat there writing everything I could think of, I suddenly started writing reconnect with my father. Would he remember me? Would he be upset about me trying to find him?

            On a Tuesday I finally got the courage to call my dad’s work. I thought about what I would say, rehearsing it in my head.  As I made the call everything slipped away. I talked to my dad’s co-worker who told me that he had taken leave to arrange my grandfather’s funeral. I couldn’t believe it. I had missed the chance to see my grandfather again, but most of all Jaken would not get the chance to meet him. We went to the funeral gathering where I knew I would see my father again. I walked into the house holding Jaken in my arms and Daniel walking behind me.  I took a glance around the room and I saw him. I did not think I would recognize him but I did. I introduced Jaken and Daniel to my dad. He gave me a hug and asked how I was doing. He was very quiet but I didn’t blame him, his father had just passed away.

            That Saturday I attended the funeral where I met his family. I was not sure they knew who I was, or wonder why I had not met them for so long. I was nervous but happy about where it was going.

            I think about our relationship now and it feels as if we never met. I went into their lives so quickly and now it seems I have disappeared again. I have not seen them once within the last couple of months. I had wanted to be apart of their family for so long and now I am allowing it to slip away again. I have been invited to a couple of parties but have missed each of them because of other planned activities or bad weather. I can’t help but feel bad that I am letting my dad down again by not going out to get to know them more. He has not been in my life for a long time but I don’t hate him. He is my dad and he will always be my dad. I am most afraid that we will grow apart again and everything returns to the way it use to be.

            I am definitely trying to keep in touch with my father. I want to be in his life and him to be in mine. I want him to be there for me during my greatest achievements and my wedding when Daniel and I are ready. Most of all, I want him to be in Jaken’s life. So with this I say, remember the people that love you. They are in your life for a reason. They will be there to strengthen you during your hardest times and also your happiest.